Tuesday, October 20, 2009

3rd Person Rant

You know what stinks? Having to be around someone that you really, really like - I mean, really like -

and who you're pretty sure is not that into you.

And you want to stop liking this person, because that would be much easier. But you can't. Because he's charming. And cute, with little wire-rimmed glasses and a crooked smile. And funny.

And you want to stop being awkward. But you can't. Because you're you (although inside, you know that you're absolutely, positively NOT this weird). And the more you try to stop being Awkward You, the more awkward you become.

And then you drive home and replay in your mind all the awkwardly weird things you said. And then you tell yourself "NEXT time I see him, I will be totally cool and laid back." But you never are.

It's bad when you are annoyed at yourself because you're being yourself.

P.S. Yep. New Piano Guy is giving me some "not so much" signals lately. I'm sure I'll feel better tomorrow, but right now - I just want to crawl under my covers and mope. So that's what I'm going to do.


Dionne said...

Oh yes, I know that feeling. Awwww... poor you. I am sorry you aren't feeling that reciprocation of "into-ness"!

Jane said...

Well, despite the tone and outcome of this small note, I love it. I have felt the EXACT same way! I have been so sure in the past that if the current crush REALLY knew me, he'd fall instantly in love because the REAL me was way more fun and great than the me he was getting to see....

Eventually this comes true. :)