But today is not one of those days.
I woke up annoyed. I took an annoyed shower. I was annoyed while I made my lunch. I had a super annoying commute into work. Basically, I pretty much hate everything today.
Sometimes the best way for me to get over my irritation with all things living (and not living) is to hash it out. So here is my morning rant and the list of things that make me want to karate chop the crap out of everything:
1. I got a dollop of conditioner in my ear this morning while I was washing my hair. Rage against the conditioner bottle.
2. I forgot to set the coffee timer last night and I didn't have time to make a fresh pot. I've been betrayed by the coffee-maker.
3. A lady in a blue car tailed me all the way onto the ramp on Memorial Parkway and then when it was time to merge with traffic, she cut me off and then wouldn't make eye contact with me so I could give her my best road rage face, which just made me angrier.
4. There's a super, overly happy woman at McDonald's who started working in the drive-thru last week. She sounds like Snow White. The biscuit I ordered was taking a long time, so she said, "It'll just be a few more minutes. You'll have a hot, fresh biscuit - how exciting!" No. I'm sorry. It's not exciting. It's 7:15 and I've not had any coffee yet. Do not put your cheerfulness on me, McDonald's lady.
5. The dentist I work for shares an office with another dentist, and they have a bowl of sugar-free hard candy at the check-in desk. Everyone has been munching on it all morning. Loudly. Happily. Did I mention loudly? My misophenia has been off the charts (that's right, it's a real thing, darnit).
I really feel like a good nap, silence, and maybe some ice cream would make me feel about 99% better.
But I swear - if people don't watch out, I am going to sit here and sigh a lot.