Monday, September 23, 2013

I need a new song.

image found here
Yesterday was the first day of fall, which means that I should be in a pretty good mood until at least January 2nd.

I find it nearly impossible to be cranky when everything around you is all pumpkin-y and mum related.  And the fact that you can actually get ready in the morning and not have your makeup melt off your face by the time you get to your car cheers me up immediately.

I'm going to be honest - I've had a sort of irritable spring and summer.  Not to say that good things didn't happen from March to August, because they did, but it's just been all topsy-turvy. 

I got a new job (which means I have to deal with a whole set of weird personalities - I'd gotten pretty used to only having to deal with my own), and my schedule is no longer my own. 

My car officially committed suicide.  RIP, Stella.  I did get an awesome replacement (Bluetooth - holla!), but now I have a car payment, which sort of dampens the new car excitement. 

I got a dog!  This was actually a really great moment during this summer - Bernie (a five-year-old yorkie poo) gets along great with Gilbert, and he makes everything more fun.  Literally everything.

The top half of my head decided to start greying at a rapid pace, and thank God for hair dye, because I'm pretty sure that without it, I'd look like a chubby Dorothy from "The Golden Girls." 

And as I mentioned before - I hate sweating when I'm just sitting still.  Hate.  It.

So I'm pretty pumped about fall's arrival.

Something about cooler weather makes me want to do more, think more, and just be more.  I've been feeling restless for the past year, and I honestly still can't put my finger on it.  Maybe it's because I'm officially, firmly cemented in my thirties (33! When did that HAPPEN?!), and I'm beginning to feel the tick, tick, tick of time passing more swiftly than I'd really like.  Maybe I'm just bored with myself.  I'm not sure.  But there's something inside niggling at me.  I just don't know exactly what it is.

I went to visit my parents this weekend in Centre for Mom's birthday, and on my way back to home, Audrey Assad's song "New Song" came up on my iPod.  And, as usual, she nailed it:

There's an aching in my body, within my lungs
This web of bones around my heart is coming undone
And I need a new song

I know most people start "fresh" in January, but I've decided to make fall my New Year.

I'm 33.  Still young, but I need to get my act together in a lot of areas.  I don't really have the luxury of youth on my side anymore, and honestly?  I don't really want to be all that young anymore.  I've enjoyed my thirties so far, but it would be great to have some things just settled.

New year, new song.

And because this song is just so lovely, here it is:


Sara in the 'ham said...

Welcome back! I was so excited when your blog popped up in my feedly. :)