Monday, June 1, 2009

Good to the last drop?

I stopped by Starbucks this morning for my weekly Monday coffee fix, and just happened to arrive a microsecond after the most annoying customer in the world - you know the type. The "I've been to Starbucks a zillion times, yet I still have no idea what I want...or maybe I know what it is...but I can't remember what it's called...and what exactly is in an espresso?....Hmmmm....ok....and exactly how lowfat is this muffin?....Reeeeeeeeally....Do you think you could heat that up for me?....Not too hot....I'm sorry, I'm looking for a more organic type of sweetener, and all you have is Splenda and Sweet 'N Low....yes, I realize honey is organic, it processed honey?" type.

Kill me now. Just take out an Uzi and put me out of my misery. Someone.

So then when it's finally my turn I spit out my order - "Venti Espresso Truffle. No. I don't need a receipt," then look around Starbucks triumphantly, waiting for someone to acknowledge my responsible, fast ordering behavior. But no one cares. They're all watching Miss Organic Sweetener trying to figure out the space-age rocket science that is the coffee sleeve.

I seem to be alone in my coffee-ordering frustration.

Song I'm digging today: "Gossip in the Grain" by Ray LaMontagne

No one can paint a mood like Ray LaMontagne - I've pretty much decided that his voice can immediately move me from any feeling of annoyance or anger to mellow laid-backness. Yes. Mellow Laid-Backness. I'm coining a new term.

This song makes me feel like putting out a blanket in a little clearing in the woods during the fall and watching the birds. Seriously. I've never done that in my whole life, but this song makes me want to do just that.

Best line: "Truth be beggar that holds his tongue/Dines on none/None but air alone"


Anonymous said...

I get that violent feeling when anyone in any what should be fast service place does that. Your Starbucks exerience is the equivalent of someone in the drive-thru line at Wendy's going... I'll have aaaaaaa. Hmm.. hold on a minute. I'll have aaaaaaaaa. What kind of dressing does that grilled chicken wrap have on it? (speaker response: wonwownkwkcccccc)Eww. Yeah, I don't want that. Let me see. I'll have aaaaaaaaa... a number 1 no onions, no lettuce, no mayo... wait... cancel that..a number 6. RAGE!!!!


Jason said...

You are so right about Lamontagne. He's awesome. I love the vibe of his music. A great, great album. And I LOVE David Gray, by the way. You have some good taste in music, my friend.

You Are My Fave said...

I'm always the one who picks the wrong lane in the supermarket. The one behind an old person who still writes checks to pay for things. Why?

PS Thanks for your inspiring comment on my blog.

Anne @ The City Sage said...

You are SO not alone. As a longtime Starbucks employee I had to restrain myself every day from opening up a can of whoop-ass on this type of person!

I can SO tell we are going to be BFF's---the fact that your previous blog title obliquely references my all time favourite moment in my all time favourite movie is totally awesome. And Gossip in the Grain is my favourite album release of the past year. We have a possible separated at birth situation on our hands.

Oh, and vintage-y is SO a word :)

Jane said...

YOU crack me up. Oh I laughed right out loud! I have been there. I am usually too intrigued to get annoyed because I really can't believe people really are that way...even while I'm seeing it.

I needed a good laugh. Thanks!

I love Ray too. Love him!